I sat on the couch in pink plaid pajamas and his rugby striped sweater. My makeup was off. My hair was tucked behind my ears. And I was eating chicken and wild rice soup. In between carrots, I would sit the bowl down and hug my knees to my chest.
It had been a long day.
A rough day. A day where you just feel... lost.
You know the kind. Oh sure it starts off happy enough, walking on sunshine. But before you know it, you see that one thing- that one picture, that one blog post, that one update on twitter- and before you know it, you're knee deep in the downward spiral I like to call the "I Suck Chronicles."
A point by point checklist of all the things you haven't done and all the reasons why you'll never do them.
Because it feels like everything that could be done, has been done. And by somebody else. It's like you showed up late for the school play tryouts and all the roles were already taken.
So you make yourself the understudy. You memorize all the lines, you perfect the stage direction. But you don't dare stand in the spotlight. Because that spot has already been reserved for somebody else.
But here's the thing. Understudies are forever bound by the lines of someone else. Bound to doing and saying things the way they're *supposed* to because the script has already been written. And to be honest...it's exhausting. It's exhausting trying to be what you think you're supposed to be. When, let's face it, sometimes it's hard enough just to be yourself.
So what I've decided is this: I would much rather risk going out and writing my own script, where at least the voice I hear is my own and the lead has not yet been cast, than to spend one more day practicing to become someone else. A script where what I do is not bound by what someone else has or hasn't already done.
Because even if nobody else ever shows up to see it, at least that's a story line I believe in.
So to anybody out there who might be feeling like the third understudy to their own lives, what I want to say to you is this: don't let another day go by like that. Go out and write your own play.
Or heck, just join mine. Because I have plenty of roles to go around. :)
And to cap off Jennifer & Eddy's gorgeous Cairnwood Wedding, the Killer Details!!
Erin Proud is a phenomenal planner and her husband, TJ, is pretty talented too! :) His company is called Paper by Proud and he designed all of the custom signage that Jennifer & Eddy used throughout the day! How cute are those signs?!?
Check out the signs he made for the ceremony! And those flowers by Adam Pomerantz?!? Gorgeous!!
It's cuteness overload!
Seriously, TJ is just amazing! Can't get enough of these!
And the programs? Perfect.
Jimmy Duffy's Catering was absolutely phenomenal! Jennifer & Eddy planned a mojito bar for their guests! Doesn't that mint look DE-lish?
Cairnwood Estate Wedding: Jennifer & Eddy (Part I)
We wanted to send you off smiling into the weekend and I can't think of a better way to do that than to show you Jennifer & Eddy (Part I). But beware, this wedding was so crazy beautiful that it may just take you the whole weekend to recover from the awesomeness that is J&E.
Married: Jennifer & Eddy
Jennifer & Eddy were married at Cairnwood Mansion in Bryn Athyn, PA which is too gorgeous for words. Seriously, the place is breathtaking! And on top of that, Erin Proud and her team from Proud to Plan, were total rockstars! The details blew us away!
Adam Pomerantz of Belvedere Flowers worked. it. out! Check out the wrap on Jennifer's bouquet!
Jennifer's gorgeous dress was designed by Judd Waddell just for her! She even has a sketch he made of her in it! How cool is that!
Love me some shoes!
Jennifer, you are STUNNING! Absolute perfection!
The lovely ladies of Cheekadee and Hair by Meghan were on hand to make Jennifer look even more perfect! (Not like she needed it!)
While we hung out with Jennifer, Justin went over to hang out with Eddy. How cool are those cufflinks?!?
LOVE a classic bowtie!
Eddy and his dad looking quite dapper!
Judd Wadell also designed Jennifer's mom's dress! It was one of the first mother of the bride dresses he ever designed!
Jennifer, it is easy to see where you got your good looks!
Here we go!
Buttons, Buttons, Buttons
Love this moment!
Have I mentioned that Jennifer is stunning?!?
Jennifer, you glow from the inside out! We love you!
So yesterday while we were up in Syracause, I came within three inches of stepping on a snake. A SNAKE people!
I know....I mean honestly how have we not talked about this yet? First of all, it's October.....in SYRACUSE. There should be at least seven feet of snow on the ground by now.
But no, I find the only snake still out of hibernation in the entire northern hemisphere and come within two and a half inches of stepping on it.
I then proceeded to jump twelve feet in the air and do this side step worthy of square dance...all before jumping on Justin's shoulders. Where I remained for the rest of the day.
*insert heebie jeebies full-body shudder here*
So that of course got me thinking all about fear, and I thought about writing this super inspiring (believe me, it would've been) post about overcoming your fear. But like Julia & I often say, sometimes a snake in the grass is just a snake in the grass. And it doesn't need to be anything more than that. Because let's be honest, a snake in the grass- when discovered and revealed there hiding for what it is- can throw you for enough of a loop without making it anything more than that.
See what I did there? It's deep...you'll have to think about it. :)
So all of this has absolutely nothing to do with scary movies whatsoever. Except that I'll take being scared by one of those over coming within 1 1/4 inch of stepping on a snake anyday. :) So in honor of Halloween and all things scary, we thought we'd run a little random contest.
**Let me know the thing that you are most afraid of in the comments below, and I'll be picking one lucky winner to win the scary movie of your choice. OR if your thing you're most afraid of IS scary movies, then I'll just send you a copy of Hocus Pocus. Because let's be honest, that movie is DELIGHTFUL!